Welcome to Fuck I'm Stoned! We've all had times where we've smoked too much and usually crazy things happen! You can vote on each entry to tell the person to smoke on, or put the bong down and stop smoking!

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Me and my friends were going to the football game and were smoking. for the whole night we talked in an english accent and told our other friends that they had to or we werent talking to them and they never did so we just talked to eachother.

read comments (1) Totally stoned, bro. (14) - Put the bong down, man! (7)
October 14, 2009 at 2:29 pm by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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I was on a school trip and where were staying in a bad hotel. So my friend and i decided to hotbox in his bathroom. When I got back to my room, my roommates were not pleased and proceeded to lock me in the bathroom...with all their makeup, shampoo, everything. Needless to say I don't think they enjoyed my "conceptualist artwork"

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (6) - Put the bong down, man! (7)
October 14, 2009 at 2:20 am by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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i have a 5 page paper to write and 3 chapters to read but i went to smoke first and am now too tired to function. FIS.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (6) - Put the bong down, man! (18)
October 14, 2009 at 1:18 am by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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Just cleaned a gross-ass bathroom really well and didn't even mind, just kept humming along to the Dead.

read comments (4) Totally stoned, bro. (21) - Put the bong down, man! (2)
October 13, 2009 at 11:38 pm by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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One time I was so stoned that I thought I couldn't breathe or talk and I was going to die. FIS.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (4) - Put the bong down, man! (24)
October 13, 2009 at 11:03 pm by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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I was just making some food in the microwave, staring at the clock, waiting for the time to change. I then noticed that I forgot to push 'start' and I had been staring at '2:30' for five minutes. It's almost 11 at night...

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (26) - Put the bong down, man! (3)
October 13, 2009 at 10:47 pm by traceyrshadows in - Stoner-Moment
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one time me and my boyfriend were fucking baked and all he had to eat in his apartment was a jar of marichino cherries and a bottle of vitamin gummy bears. i took the cherries he took the vitamins we both got the shits

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (8) - Put the bong down, man! (11)
October 13, 2009 at 10:43 pm by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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so me and my band we token at the park, it was dark. Anyway we were walking back and we heard foot steps so i stopped and was like did you guys hear that? Then my buddy yells demon and we all screem and start running. i soon realized it was our footsteps. Fuck we were stoned!

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (23) - Put the bong down, man! (2)
October 13, 2009 at 10:34 pm by Anonymous in - Bug-Out
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I've been smoking for quite a while know so I know that I shouldn't try and travel after I smoke. Well I was getting ready to go on Thanksgiving vacation and my roommate comes in an asks if I want to smoke and no one ever turns down a free smoke. A few minutes after the smoke I got on the subway to head to the bus station. I ended up at the library instead and boy was the security guard confused when I asked him where the buses were. "This is the library."

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (20) - Put the bong down, man! (2)
October 13, 2009 at 10:33 pm by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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I was really baked with my good friend, and we started to talk about cotton mouth and why it is called cotton mouth. We stated the obvious reasons why it's called that, and talked for about 5 minutes and then stopped. Then I started to taste my mouth, and I thought it tasted more like a biscuit than a mouth, and I sad, "Now I'm not sure why it's called cotton mouth. My mouth feels more like a biscuit. Dude I don't think I have cotton mouth, I think I have biscuit body."

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (18) - Put the bong down, man! (1)
October 13, 2009 at 10:18 pm by j0dz in - Stoner-Moment
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One night my ex-boyfriend and I wanted to have sex after we'd just gotten really baked. He went into the kitchen and brought back cool whip to put on and lick off of me. He started kissing me and trying to fool around but I was too busy eating the cool whip with my hands to pay any attention to him. FIS.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (37) - Put the bong down, man! (16)
October 13, 2009 at 9:33 pm by neufvies in - Sex
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im really baked and i wanted to submit a story on fuckimstoned.com but i couldnt remember how to spell "stoned" and by the time i figured it out i got to the website and forgot what i was going to say. FIS.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (140) - Put the bong down, man! (50)
October 3, 2009 at 1:47 am by baconlover in - Stoner-Moment
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A friend and I were super baked and watching youtube videos. We decided to start looking for a good acoustic version of With Arms Wide Open. We started listening to one and I said "omg this is worse than creed!!". Turns out it was Creed. I called Creed worse than Creed.

read comments (2) Totally stoned, bro. (153) - Put the bong down, man! (30)
October 2, 2009 at 12:03 am by baconlover in - Stoner-Moment
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I was just outside, baked as shit having a cigarette and this really long haired decked out hippie chick on a longboard looked at me very seriously and raised her hand above her head and gave me a peace sign and just kept riding past me. It kind of blew my mind.

read comments (10) Totally stoned, bro. (252) - Put the bong down, man! (27)
September 14, 2009 at 6:17 am by Anonymous in - Outdoors
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After stopping by a friends house and smoking a joint on the way home from work one day, i had to stop at my tobacco store to get some cigarettes. This is were I always go so the guy that works there knows me fairly well. Well im fumbling around in my billfold looking for my debit card and i thought i found it, but instead i pulled out my library card to pay for my cigarettes. I was like Ooops-that wont work will it?! I know the guy was like yea shes gotta be fucking stoned, especially since thats where i always get my rolling papers too! i was quite embarrassed but also thought it was funny as hell!

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (10) - Put the bong down, man! (27)
September 12, 2009 at 11:28 am by Anonymous in - Busted
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Freshman year of college I was really high and drunk and wanted some grilled cheese. The problem was I didn't have any pans or anything like that. I found two pieces of bread and string cheese, I was elated. All I had to do now was figure out how to cook it. I had the great idea of just turning on the electric range on the stove downstairs, waiting until it got red hot and putting everything on it. It didn't work so well, everything just burnt and melted all over the stove. Man, I really wanted some grilled cheese.

read comments (4) Totally stoned, bro. (38) - Put the bong down, man! (16)
September 12, 2009 at 12:47 am by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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A while ago my friends and I got very high and went to Outback Steakhouse to sate our immense appetites. When the waitress came to our table I glanced up and out of the corner of my eye, she looked like a cop. Her sort-of button-down shirt was the right shade, she wore a button that was sort of shiny like a badge, and she addressed our party with a deadpan "How are you folks doing tonight?" All those together with my impaired judgement convinced me that oh fuck this is a cop we're busted. I panicked and just stared at my menu. It wasn't until she got around to me for my order that I began to realize my mistake. I then breathed a sigh of relief and went on to consume one of those big onion flower things and about 5 mugs of root beer.

read comments (1) Totally stoned, bro. (18) - Put the bong down, man! (8)
September 12, 2009 at 12:42 am by Anonymous in - Bug-Out
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I called my dog Snoopy, even though that is decidedly not his name. I stood around for a while after that, contemplating this WTF moment. FIS.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (35) - Put the bong down, man! (6)
September 12, 2009 at 12:37 am by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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Last night another friend and I were outside looking at a frog climbing the glass door after smoking out of a homemade bong. Then i notice another one sitting on top of a light. My friend ends up convincing me and himself that its actually just a fake frog and its part of the light. We were so confident that he used a broom to poke the fake frog and then it finally jumped. We both tweaked out and started laughing. Being quite stoned already we didn't know what we were laughing at when the guy whos house it was came out to see what was happening.

read comments (1) Totally stoned, bro. (19) - Put the bong down, man! (2)
September 12, 2009 at 12:33 am by Anonymous in - Outdoors
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I was smoking weed with my friend today and it was his first time smoking. He was smoking the bong and took a huge rip, but then coughed into the bong. It sprayed bong water everywhere. I was so high all I could do was laugh as my friend was throwing up from coughing so hard. FIS.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (21) - Put the bong down, man! (32)
September 11, 2009 at 7:51 am by Anonymous in - Newbies
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Today, I got stoned at a party for the first time. On the drive home I sat at an intersection waiting for the green light for few minutes. I finally realized the green light was never coming. So did the cop behind me. I was at a stop sign. FIS

read comments (6) Totally stoned, bro. (33) - Put the bong down, man! (84)
September 11, 2009 at 7:08 am by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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Another time I was talking to my friend that works at a gas station. I bought some peanuts and decided to start throwing them out the open door, when a squirrel came walking up. I lured it into the store and it wandered around for a bit, before finding an Mmazing bar, which it then proceeded to put in its mouth and run out of the store.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (26) - Put the bong down, man! (5)
September 11, 2009 at 7:04 am by Anonymous in - Outdoors
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I was hanging out with 3 friends, and this was when we didnt have much of a tolerance and taking big bong rips of some really good weed, and we were tottally gone, so me and 2 other friends go upstairs to make some pizza, so we open the wrapper and put the pizza on the round wooden thing you put it on to put in the overn, well after we put it on the wood thing, we all held it up on our hands in a circle and just stared at the pizza and laughed at it for a good 15 minutes before relizing we had to put it into the oven

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (18) - Put the bong down, man! (5)
September 11, 2009 at 7:04 am by Anonymous in - Stoner-Moment
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Me and two friends were out cruisin one night, and since we were out in the suburbs and it was a woody area, I got the feeling that we were in a horror movie. So I immediately told my friends that there was surely a werewolf out there, somewhere. About 15 minutes later, after having forgotten about that, a spurt of water suddenly hits the car, and I exclaim "DUDE, THE WEREWOLF JUST SPIT ON THE CAR." It was a sprinkler from the golf course we were driving by. FIS.

read comments (0) Totally stoned, bro. (17) - Put the bong down, man! (23)
September 11, 2009 at 5:40 am by Anonymous in - Bug-Out
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